Colorado Snowboard Blog 11/7/09 PM Edition

Posted by: Dave Berry | Nov 7, 09

OK, yeah. Early season. Woooo! Right? WRONG! I'm totally over it. I'm calling for a full-scale war against the gapers here. It's time to take back OUR mountains from these fall-break, private school, oil money, skiing-in-jeans, tourist shits. I never had a fall break when I was a kid in school, or in college for that matter, but now I've got a crack in my sidewall and bottom plys thanks to somebody's stupid kid. I've been talking about getting a new deck for a few seasons now, but now that I have to get one in order to keep riding it's really not that exciting. It's a pain in the ass actually. An expensive pain in the ass.

Here's what went down...

I was pulling a classic White Line Nightmare down Spring Dipper at Keystone. It was pretty crowded but sticking to the outer sides of the runs seemed to be working pretty good for most of the morning. It's important to keep in mind that I didn't get the Colorado Pass this year so I put myself out $65 just to ride today. Anyway, I was ripping down the very right side of the run trying to avoid the wide-line skiing gapers when some moron pre-teen came from my left side and ever-so-slowly gobbled up any chance of escape from my line. Normally it wouldn't have been a problem to ditch back to the left and get around him, but it was so goddamn crowded that I got pigeon-holed into throwing on the breaks heel-side and sitting down. It was in a sunny spot and with the heat of the day the snow was like corn on a hockey rink so I had to dig in pretty hard to not waste this kid, which in retrospect I should have done. I guess I had to dig in a little too hard. I not only felt the crack happen but I heard it over the SKSKSKSKSKKSKSKSHHH of my edge trying to grip the snow. My stomach dropped and my temper flared. I stood up and the damn kid had already disappeared into the crowd so I didn't even get the chance to yell at her for being a complete and total ignorant moron so I made a b-line down to the Spoon Cafe for a few beers. The bartenders there were more than sympathetic to my plight and hooked me up with a couple of free PBR's, and then I had a couple more to put the fire out before making the drive back to sunny Englewood.

While I'm at it, if there happens to be any beginer snowboard instructors out there that read this I have a message for you: STOP TEACHING THE "FALLING LEAF" TECHNIQUE! Not only is it an archaic way to teach kids how to ride, it hinders carving progression and clogs up runs, which in turn leads directly to my cracked deck so FUCK YOU.

Other than that Keystone was pretty cool for opening weekend, but I don't think that I'll be back any time in the near future, especially since I don't get paid until next weekend.

Keep your lines tight and your beers open.

Shred Hard.

Dave Berry.